isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
