so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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