There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
