It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize