belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
40s are totally the cure
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize