the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She even gives head with a lisp.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
