If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize