He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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