i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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