rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you had me at cake vodka
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
