What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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