I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize