we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
thus making me awesome and them whores
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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