Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
