I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
worst night to have a conscience
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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