my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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