dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
