I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
