hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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