This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
