Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize