yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
they need to just BURY HIM!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
