Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
