My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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