just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
