Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
