all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize