You really coming over, don't trick.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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