She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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