i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
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