please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i can't believe i had my finger in that
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
