it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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