I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize