So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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