and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
