yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize