My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
