What a fucking waste of an outfit
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
