I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
