Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
