The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
