Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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