people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
