Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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