You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
