Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
