I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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