Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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