My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
