Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
