i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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