I wish my penis had an off switch
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
