You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
