Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
