so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
