i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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