Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
