I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize