I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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