i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
