Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
