she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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