he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
