He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Randomize
