I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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