Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
