Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
