She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm always down for nudity.
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