What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
