i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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