You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
