Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he fucked my hip out of place.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
