i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
