It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
now i know why i became what i already was.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
