white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
