were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
