Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
