Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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