i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
