I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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